Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in vppanda's LiveJournal:

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Monday, December 25th, 2006
12:52 am	reflections i remember a time where everything was simple. However, things really do change over time and nothing is no longer the same. It seems i have to hold on to the memories that reminds me of old times. Although, change is good, it has helped me grow up and realizes what to look for and what to hope for. Hope is what is driving me to continue, friends are the ones supportting me, happiness is what i seek. (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Tuesday, December 12th, 2006
1:53 pm	Reflections hmm as i am watching scrubs and pondering about life i have come to the conclusion, that i can be flaky without intentionally being flaky. I usually like to set up all these plans but sometimes depending my mood, i'll not follow them and when they include other people, then i realized...wow...i really shouldn't do that. So, a definite new year's resolution is to be not flaky and watch what i say. The biggest problem i am having right now is when i say "let's hang out" is that people get mad at me when we don't hang out. Granted, people have the right to be annoyed when i say we should hang out but don't but it isn't a team effort, like i don't call... you'll call? Someone should school me in the way of social behavior? People ask me to hang out but never get back to me.... ok i am not going to say let's hang out anymore cuz i don't want people to get anger at me when we dont' hang out... good plan?? prolly not....lol.... Anyway, i am bored out of my mind... but i have a cell phone and i will use it! lol btw i am too nice sometimes....but i am such an angry being lol.... okay i am off to facebook.. (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, November 30th, 2006
3:43 am	college college is fun. finals suck. 310 people are amazing. good night (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, August 17th, 2006
12:10 am	there are choices in our lives that will affect the present and the future; for better or for worse. After the end of the school year i made a vow where i try to deal with all the woes and demons of my life by myself. I tried very hard not to complain about very petty things but i finally realized that i tired of appleasing other peoples feelings, and i want to do things for me and not other people. I am tired and i am sad but i have no one to blame BUT myself for the choices i made that has made me the kind of person i am and the current state, i am in. At one point or another we have to grow up and i am going to take the first step, and throw aside my petty desires... with that being said if you don't hear from me anymore, then this is my goodbye to you. Sorry i didn't get this chance to say it to in person but goodbyes are always hard to say. So with this being said.... this is my offical goodbye to you my friends...may your futures be bright and full of sucuess... but things will never be the same anymore with us anymore. (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, August 9th, 2006
2:40 pm	hey everyone, i am back to webblogging mainly because i don't really have anything to do at home. Anywho, my summer has been pretty good, i am just doing what i usually do, hang out with friends, chilling, being bored at home, watching tv and smashing it up; the usual. I haven't been up too much but i am enjoying the free time. I went to my friend, jack's bonfire last wed and that was a funnn night. haha crazy tispy people and one too many close call. Well, the goodbyes are slowly being said and college is just around the corner. It finally kinda hit me that it's time for all of us to start on our separate journeys to college. It's time like these that i often reflect on the past and memories before. I feel kinda bad that i didn't get a chance to hang out with my friend very very much due to the choices that i have made. They created distance between me and my friends, but I guess that's just life for you. Well until i have more insightful things to talk about, this is my goodbye. (Comment on this)
Sunday, June 4th, 2006
9:50 am	Hey, I am back with another update, lol yeah not like anyone reads this anymore but whatever. Anyway, this month has been my month, things are starting look back up again. I got into UC Irvine Fall Semester 06, that has been the freaking highlight of senior year and I am dorming!!! Mrs. Stowell and Mr. Ostrowski seriously called it for me. Mrs. Stowell said that i should make a decison that i would be content with and do it for myself (and not for my parents or friends) and i did. I was content on the fact that i would be going to OCC for four months and then start at Irvine in January. After much pain and anguish i suffered from by merely being content with I had, i was reward with my patience and recieve even more gifts. I ended up getting accepted into UC Merced and UC Riverside ( I didn't apply). I could have jumped at the chance of going to UC Merced because i could dorm and go to school in the fall. BUT i stuck with irvine still and the next day after, i recieved an email saying that i been admitted in the fall class. Few days later, my folks were like, "yeah we don't want you driving to irvine, every morning cuz trafic is crazy in the morning and you would have to leave at five in morning, so we're letting you dorm but you can't have your car and you going to come back on the weekends." Now, if you know me, in my head i was yelling "HELL YES, WHO CARES ABOUT DRIVING, I AM GOING TO FREAKIN DORM." Mr. O was like " hey, good karma works on you jason." O man, FREAKIN PROPS TO MR. O, the resturant (Arago) was freakin amazing!!!!! Mr. O took his PAL presidens and science bowl kids to lunch and it was soooo good. lol, anyway continuing on, things have been pretty good with a few expections. BUT WHATEVER, I AM RIDING OF WAVE OF GOOD FEELINGS AND GREAT TIMES. Prom was simply amazing, my date was even more amazing, the dancing was to die for. I tore that floor up. That was an amazing night in general and hmmm what else happened in the month of may...ooooo i got senior of the month for may and the banquet was nice, got fifty bucks too. The MUN Banquet was fun, very memorable. Badminton banquet was fun suprisingly (i almost didn't go), X3 afterwords with the guys. Yeah it's been pretty much a freakin awesome month, you get the point. i reached a point of relevation though yesterday evening or maybe it wasn't a relevation but yeah, i realized something, which i'll talk about in a few hours cuz this post is getting tooo long. (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Saturday, April 29th, 2006
5:47 pm	haha correction on the uci winter thingy. UCI FALL 2006 baby. (Comment on this)
Thursday, April 6th, 2006
9:38 am	Well, i am back again to update after my month abandonment of my livejournal. March was definitely a very difficult month for me. I recieved five rejection letter, but God was merciful, i got into uci as a guarenteed transfer student for Winter 2007. Now, many people would used terms like defered or wait listed, I on the other hand, would like the stress the word "guarenteed," so i am going to start taking some classes at OCC in the fall and summer to get a headstart on college, work for about seven(?) months and hopefully get all A's at occ, and make enough money to move out at the end of the year. I have to admit when i got all these rejection letters, i was bummed.. i am mean really bummed, but i am serious, God seriously worked out everything in end for me. I am going to take classes at occ with fellow transfer students for a semester, and when i go to UCI, i am going to meet up some really good friends (hopefully move into a dorm) and study my ass off at UCI, because i want to go into med school now. I also have some good friends who are going to school in the city of irvine so i am will be able to chillax with them. I am going to promise myself i wouldn't make the same mistakes in high school, and hopefully this summer and fall terms will help me grow. I know some people were like why don't you use do the two years at occ, and i personally don't think i could do it. So in conclusion, i got into college and i am mother-fing ANTEATER BABY! ZOT! haha yeah i am happy. HOWEVER, school is such a drag... so much hw... i should be doing my enviro paper but i am not... i should be studying for spanish but... guess what i am not. Gradewise my quarter report card will be alrite, nothing spectacular, ugh econ is still giving me a hard time. Spanish is always difficult for me... ugh what a drag. (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Monday, March 6th, 2006
11:27 pm	drifting hmmm... i have to say i feel like i am just drifting along in life. I haven't been up to much lately, just a lot of badminton. I stop doing homework and i am still acing three of my six classes,yeah but i am struggling in econ... but yeah i don't really care... I am generally really bored... i don't really chat on aim because everyone is busy with their own things... and yeah i am actually kinda busy too.. with practices and all the hw i have that i am going to do.... hmm i hate how i act sometimes...i am always acting as the center of attention and i am very loud, and i even annoy myself sometimes... i wish i can ocuppy all this newfound freetime... i mean i never really had some much downtime.....sigh god... i am stressing though... uci still hasn't sent me anything... and i would like to get accepted to at least three out of the schools i appiled too... keep in mind, if i don't get into a decent uc school, my mother is not letting me go to prom... (it's werid) i really feel like going dancing... i hope berekley has a delegate social i am soo going if there is one. yeah people say i am sound really depress and emo in these entries.. yeah i am going to admit i am kinda depressed... the problem with me is i am not a very emotional stable person.. i get angry really randomly and it's scary... i am not even kidding i freaked out some of my friends before.. but then i get really giddy and loud.. then really depress... i know this is really healthy... plus i think i am becoming very people dependent because up until junior year i use never talk about my problems... and i don't think i cared enough to be concerned with other people's views... God i don't like how i changed...i used to be quiet, i used to be calm, i used not care, i don't like what i become....i am angry all the time, depressed every morning when i walk into zero, and tired when i leave school.. WHY the hell do i have so many problems... god damn it's only high school... i barely lived and i am burdening myself with all this. i am going to be the quiet asian guy that i was before, and i will no longer be weak, i will deal with my problems on my own terms... i no longer want to feel inferior. (Comment on this)
Saturday, March 4th, 2006
11:04 pm	just an general update The moment has arrived... college acceptance letters... i am freaked out of my mind... uci started to send out theirs on the first, i still haven't gotten a letter, that kinda worries me.... Anywho, time is passing by soo quickly, senior year is almost over and there is still so much to do and experience before we graduate. It times like these i reflect on the actions and the lack of action i have made in high school. Good memories and bad ones all flood back, the same feelings of happiness, joy, sadness, confusion all are swirling together. This is it guys...... high school is almost over... it makes me sad and happy but damn guys i am going to admit i am going to miss you guys.... it going to werid not seening you guys next september... i know we still have a few months of school and summer but yeah it's not going to be the same... haha you can tell i am have very mixing feelings about this. in short, let makes the next few months memorable :) (Comment on this)
Friday, February 24th, 2006
11:21 pm	:( this month was soo great up till now hola again, updating again because i not in the best mood possible. Everything after my birthday party has been pretty bad. I am just not having fun in school anymore. Badminton is a mental pain after practices. My tempers flaring cuz i am tired of people stepping on me. I am annoyed with certain people and i broke a promise that i made with myself. THIS HAS NOT BEEN MY BEST WEEK... There is just too much spinning in my head. I feel like a sophomore again, pissed off, annoyed, unwanted, loud, and just plain angry. I went from complete happinesss to complete depression in four days!!!! hope things get better (Comment on this)
Thursday, February 23rd, 2006
11:12 pm	There is no stopping now Well, the few weeks have been pretty crazy but good. My finals went very well, i got all the grades that i wanted and i was very pleased with my report card. My ipod, and car was secure for another five weeks. Unforunately my laziness might cause a progress report to arrive from ap economics cuz i am boardline in that class. But anyway, high school is almost over, most of us are just really tired of showing up to school but most of us haven't got our letters yet so we continued to wait. I am changing back to my paranoid self again. I really hope i get into college... lol but i ranted enough at school so i am not going there. Badminton has been good and bad, team postitions are kinda annoying me but i just want to play badminton so i am cool. Things are just peaceful now, it's werid, i don't even feel like going out this weekend. I just want to someone to call or i'll call someone just to talk and chill. I mean I love all the fun and laughs I got to have this year but i kinda miss the quiet talks and just peaceful things. lol i sound like an old man. I feel like i am changing again, growing a little older on the inside, but i am still goofy on the outside. Now that things have slowed down, i am finally feeling the effects of what has happen to me this year. i leave you guys with this i hope you find happiness and i hope you don't forget me if you have already forgetten me, well looks like i will always have to play the nice guy, or the mute idiot. (Comment on this)
Wednesday, January 25th, 2006
8:39 pm	Final's week Final's week had been (there is no better way to put this) raping me to death. I am on the verge of death, I been tested two weeks straight, and this lazy senior is tired... oh soo tired. IT'S ALMOST OVER! I really want to have fun this weekend. Even though i am not going to winter formal (it's chinese new years' eve, you can't leave the house unless your visiting family and yeah my parents are pretty strict about this. Last year, my father and I had to make sure, that we got back from our trips by new years (he went to michgan for business, i was at geogretown.) So yeah i am going out friday night for sure, and sunday night and doing something on monday. People if we have plans hit me up on my cell. It's has been a crazy January guys. (Comment on this)
Saturday, January 7th, 2006
12:16 pm	Winter Break Overview!! This winter break is probably one of the best winter breaks i have ever had. Sooo let's recap :) On the last day of school before break , i attended a christmas party that was pretty fun, lots of food, laughs, memories, CAL won the Las Vegas bowl and abtin jokes. Good times, Good times :) After the next few days, I just did absolutely nothing and it was everything i imagined it would be :)It was pure bliss, woke up at 10:30 everyday, watched tv, myspaced, and just chilled for four days straight. After that i went to play badminton with a few friends, lost pretty badly but hey it was fun. Then i went to play FOOTBALL! HAHA yeah that was pretty crazy and fun. Then i finall got to play xbox 360, i got to say that was pretty cool. Best thing that happened during break was i got my car and insurance!! i love my car :) I went to Jillian party tuesday and thursday, haha probably the most fun i had since yosemite. Ahhh but everything must end, and hw must live again. OH WEll it's been fun. Current Mood: cheerful (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Sunday, December 25th, 2005
6:13 pm	Christmas Post!! lol yeah i know most people are out visting family or at a party today but i had a quiet uneventful christmas which i am not disappointed in. Today was a very chill/relax day, i did absolutely nothing but clean my room, enjoy good food, got some presents from my family, tv... a lot of tv. your typical christmas day. It was nice to able spend a nice quiet christmas. The only thing that is bugging on this fine day is my car insurance, it's been three weeks and it still hasn't came!!! ARgh.. other than that everything else is ok. My sister and i are going to get some belated christmas gifts cuz we both want some costly stuff. I still want my ipod nano and my sister wants a digital camera. My dad is cool with the camera but he doesn't like the ipod cuz he knows i listen to music loud and for a long extended period of time...he thinks i'll destroy my ears and i can't blame him for thinking that but i'll convince him. Berekely mun is good to go, i got the ok from him, that was pretty cool. But damn kids, i have so much make up work to do. Starting tomorrow i sadly will have to do hw :( screw this i got an after christmas sale i need to hit up. Damn i want some more adias classics anyway merry christmas!!! (Comment on this)
Saturday, December 3rd, 2005
4:39 pm	Back From Yosemite It's been a while since I last updated, I have been pretty busy lately, with college apps, school, and etc, but it's been pretty chill. I am officially done with all my college stuff and now i am hoping/praying to get into any of the six schools I appiled to. Hope everything goes well for me :) Anyway, here's an update on what I have been up to since the day before Thanksgiving Break. November 23 was crazy, just plain crazy, I had my hero essay due, i had to finish correcting papers for the freshman, i had a test for mun (which i bombed), I had to finish my berekeley apps for mun. Just one crazy day. Major Props to Bebe who helped me finish my app in what 10 min? Anyway, that day was crazy, i was soo happy when school was out. I relaxed for a bit then went working on college apps. November 24 = major good food day. Thanksgiving is awesome enough said. My cousin came over, that was pretty cool too. November 25 is the day i finished my apps, my dad and I went over them, and I submitted them. November 26 Kelly's b-day party that was pretty cool, watching harry potter with abtin was pretty interesting haha. November 27- December 2 Yosemite Trip, prolly one of the best experiences of my life, soo many laughs and memories. Here are some memorable quotes Zack: "you know what Lisa, you would be hot as a man." ::silence:: Zack: "crap that came out wrong" hahaha Deidre ( aka frank): "don't take bad pictures of me!!" ::shaking dinner roll in hand me: " hey lisa, is that country apple bath & body work hand sanitzer" ::silence:: me: .... that was prolly the most unmanly thing i have ever said." Zack: "jason that was prolly worst then me saying lisa looks hot as a man" Racheal saying to Deidre: " we prolly be very good at acting as lesbians." Deidre: " yeah, and lisa is pretty good at acting as a man." Eric: " wait are you telling me there was a toaster all this time?" Jillian: "jlaskjdflksfoweinb" while playing nerts Adam (our instructor): " so how much bottle do you need in a day, well my friends you need 69" brust out laughing Zack, me and neel: "badger badger badger badger" Adam: " snake, there's a snake!!!" Erik: " Lisa, why are you feeling/rubbing his cards?" Connor: "this is chewbacca, this is shea dancing with chewbacca, THIS DOES NOT MAKE SENSE!" oh man soo many more quotes and memories class of 2006 ap enviromental science baby pics will come up later Current Mood: cheerful Current Music: Photograph (Comment on this)
Sunday, November 6th, 2005
6:18 pm	A quick update Times has been flying by and things have been pretty crazy. First and foremost, i must state how much i am loving my senior year. It just plain awesome, so here is an update on what i have been up to. On halloween, i went to two parties (zack and olivia), they were pretty fun, but a bit of a disappoinment, nonetheless fun though. Friday Night Poker was awesome, I did pretty good, got kinda tired at the end and could have won more money but i won enough money so yeah it was pretty awesome. It's kinda cool how easy college apps are i am going to submit mine next week and i am good. ::cross fingers, hope i get into cal:: So ucla conference this weekend, last chance to gavel at ucla, wish me luck folks (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Thursday, October 13th, 2005
6:01 pm	Random thoughts I kick ass lol, i just wanted to say that. School is good, food is good, badminton is good Dateless to homecoming again, but a lot of my friends are going so it's all good MUN is oddly my hardest class I need a radical change, people say i haven't changed at all since middle school, expect i have awesome ae collar shirts and kick ass adidas classics I have the sudden ugre to dance Liscene test next friday pretty nervous/excited Life is good, i talk on my cell phone too much, but it's all good (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Sunday, September 25th, 2005
1:37 pm	Senior Year! WOot! Well, where to begin, things have been very good, school is going pretty good, i am getting along with my folks, football season (college) has begun, i am just having an awesome time! However, despite these awesome times, a few things have been bothering me. It's actually begin bugging me for quite sometime. I kinda feel really stupid compared to my friends and i fail in comparsion when it comes to academics. I really happy that my friends are sucueeding in such wonder achievements but I also feel that i am never as good as they are. Neel, whitney, steven, are crazy good at everything, abtin is around around, bebe is number one, and a whole bunch of people outshine me. I feel so ugh.... out of place and stupid sometimes. I wish i was as good at my friends i feel so inferior compared to them. it's stupid i know. I realize that the only that's holding me back is myself, i realized that i am not like everyone else and i have to work to achieve my goals. In this world some people gifted naturally other (like myself) will have to work to be great. I have no problem with it :). It's just how i feel sometimes, it just good to get it off my chest:) beside that it's been pretty good :) (5 Comments |Comment on this)
Friday, September 9th, 2005
11:41 pm	First Week is over The first week of school is offically over. It's been a pretty good week, i like how i can be loud in the hallways and classrooms plus i can give numerous high fives. This year is going to be pretty chill, i really think any of my classes are going to be overwhelming me this year. I am seriously going to have enough time just to chill and study some SAT's and all that college apps jazz. However, one thing concerns me though... You know how some people can sense a huge storm before it comes, I am sensing that my anger is going to grip me and i am going suddenly lash out and demonstrate enough anger to keep me not talking to someone for a while...... Scary thought espcially during senior year when we're getting along so well, i don't know i can feel it, you know. It's that calmness before a storm hits. ON a more positive note, I don't think it's going to happen cuz of all the cool stuff that has already been happening this first week. Seriously this has been prolly the best first week of school i have ever had. (Comment on this)